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When guys insist that any woman could go out and get laid if she wanted, this actually makes it make the first move.Everything in our culture drills “men make the first move” into women’s heads.The traditional gender roles of man-as-aggressor are continually reinforced by our culture and society; witness the slut-shaming that Miley Cyrus gets for being an active – rather than passive – sexual performer.
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A lot of what makes us react one way or another to somebody is unconscious.
When we see somebody, we instinctively process many, many non-verbal clues as to the person’s inner character from the way they walk, the way they smell and the way they interact with other people.
However, many of the flirting techniques women are taught and encouraged to use are to encourage men to approach without being overt about it; approaching a guy is about as overt as it gets short of pouncing on them from a tree like a horny leopard, and very little of it is helpful when you’re taking the initiative.
Just like many PUA techniques, women’s flirting advice is designed for a are.
On the low end of the spectrum, some men will be profoundly turned by a woman approaching them.
They have issues with aggressive or strong women – women who don’t conform to the “traditional values” of being meek and subservient, and a woman who flouts convention in that way will repulse them.
And that lack of info can be especially important for women.
Remember what I said about how some guys freak out over overturned gender roles? There are many men who are profoundly uncomfortable with any sort of non-traditional forms of gender-expression whether it’s through looks or behavior, and by trying to make an overt move, women risk stepping squarely on that particular emotional landmine.
Yes, finding out early that a guy is threatened by assertive women is generally a .
For all the times guys have worried about the “eww no” reaction from women that they approach, women are more likely to be insulted loudly and very publicly. Because at the other end of the spectrum are the guys who will feel like she’s a pushy bitch who needs to be taught her place. The “bad reaction” isn’t just about potential physical threats.
have the specter of generations of socialization and gender roles that says “men don’t like girls who are too forward” and “if you make the first move, they’ll think you’re a slut” being dropped on top of that like a 400 lb weight on a balloon full of shit.