Discomfort grew to such a level that these were torn off. Spanx offers three colors: Nude 1, Cocoa, and Black; Nude 1 is ultra-sheer in color and subtly tinted brown; pretty. The ultimate special-occasion pantyhose and good for a splurge; these would have been better, though, had they not spontaneously bust a run in the toe while a wearer was sitting on the couch!Fit: Spanx glided right on to the body and seemed to create a slimmer silhouette—any pantyhose that make you feel a few pounds lighter are a wonderful invention. Donna Karan New York the Nudes Control Top Panty and Leg: 50 percent biconstituent fiber (51 percent nylon, 49 percent spandex), 38 percent nylon, 12 percent spandex Cost: Run count: 0Texture and Color: Elegant, superlight, and smooth.

Now, I work at home and spend much of my "free" time chasing a toddler.

When I wear hose, I need them to be good—I don't have the time or the energy to stash an extra pair or a bottle of clear nail polish in my diaper bag.

Talbots offers three nudes: pale, light, and medium; the pale did indeed match my own fair skin. These are very prone to runs, however; the first happened 3 hours in (a run in the heel prompted by bending down). Everything is great until you put these suckers on; there is no endurance.

By the end of the day, the runs were like rivers up the whole of both legs. L'eggs Sheer Energy Active Support Regular Pantyhose Panty: 83 percent nylon, 17 percent spandex Leg: 70 percent nylon, 30 percent spandex Cost: $5.19Run count: 0Texture and Color: Nicely smooth but a touch itchy. By "nude" here, they mean "for women who live in Florida"—suntan city. The hose did not sag, but the waistband quickly became loose and did roll as the day progressed. For drugstore brand hose, these worked surprisingly well.

Who wouldn't hate being confined in nylon as it slowly squeezes the life out of her?

Alas, there comes a time in every woman's life when the wearing of pantyhose is required.

Fit: The confines of the control top require one to dance a bit more than usual to put them on, but they feel good and even somewhat refined when on.

They cling to your body in a way that is not uncomfortable. While these look and feel great, they couldn't stand up to activity; by the end of the day they were completely shredded. Talbots Silky Sheer Control Top Panty: 82 percent nylon; 18 percent elastane Leg: 86 percent nylon; 14 percent elastane Cost: Run count: 5Texture and Color: Transparent in look and almost weightless in consistency; the "control" top was fairly flimsy, but the leg felt positively luxurious.

stood atop her cubicle desk and belted out "You Ride Up My Thighs" (sung to "You Light Up Life") in ode to her ill-fitting nylons.