Now that we’re armed with what we like about her, and what she likes about herself, we’re ready for some good first message examples.

When sending a first message for online dating, there’s a big difference between giving away value with statements, and seeking to elicit it from her with questions. Make your statements either Think about it, what makes for a great wedding toast? And if she catches The Simpsons reference then hey, even better.

If we wanted to use our “nice blue eyes” observation for an early 20’s girl on a casual dating website like okcupid, it’s important to remember that a sincere physical compliment is best followed up with something funny, to break tension.

Or in our case, reading it will be candy to her eyes.

If her first name is not available, you can substitute her username. Depending on her username, addressing her this way can be pretty funny on its own.

Here’s the good news; There are lots of effective “techniques” that have a higher likelihood of getting a response than others.

And I’m going to share a small number of them with you now. Simply scanning over it briefly, will give you a more natural gut reaction, and make it easier for you to respond to the 1 or 2 things that really got your attention. When you meet a new woman in real life, you don’t analyze her in depth.

ie; This statement is effective because it signals attraction (“nice blue eyes”), then changes the subject immediately to validate her interests (“shopping”), while introducing a flirty roleplay angle (“cute shopping assistant…”).

The use of an ellipsis at the end transforms the line from a statement, to an invitation. Alternatively, you can throw in a cold read, and invite her to validate, ie; “you don’t seem like you’re from the US…”.

If she’s written a lot on her profile, it should be easy enough to find something you like. A compliment or statement about her physical should always be accompanied by something non-physical.