No matter what you do, there are always expectations and assumptions that come along with going on a date, a pre-packaged set of social .

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Talk about anything but how you’ll probably never meet up, and if you do, there won’t be a second date. Take heed that many of your fellow women have taken exactly one women’s and gender studies course in college, and “know all about being transgendered.” (sic) Be prepared to hear girls talk about how they’re “not really feminists, because they like to have fun.” Feel free to shake your head and pour a drink.

Get ready to hear a lot of very surface-level readings of Judith Butler.

I will go ahead and say that I haven’t had much success dating, and as such the bulk of this article will be about where things went wrong in a few attempts at finding love and companionship.

It should go without saying that names have been altered for the sake of privacy.

Where complete strangers ask you about your genitals? Use some of your flirting skills from being at the bar while you are online. A lot of people online are too shy to go out, so they will not know how to respond to you.

Get better at reading through their answers to weed out the ubiquitous racism, transmisogyny, littering, and incompatible goals.

One day we became physical in my parents’ house, the first time that I ever had to plan around my parents’ absence over .

It made me long for a childhood that never was, in a complicated and deeply sad way.

Ask a few close friends, “would you theoretically date me based on this profile?

Without them, you will end up posting a photo with kale in your teeth, or where there is clearly a dog using the restroom in the background. Attend events specifically targeted towards lesbians like you.

Low expectations mean high excitement at small success.