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This causes everything around them to suffer and slowly die.
Seeds that were once planted cannot grow and both spouses develop a strong inward thirst for their unmet needs, eventually causing multiple cracks throughout the relationship.
Ultimately, this may lead to couples simply dissolving the relationship for lack of knowing how to fix the problems.
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Usually those reactions are negative and feed into the cycle of breakdown.
But consider this: of all the times you focused on not being understood, how often have you tried to understand the other person?
When communication between couples becomes strained or even nonexistent, the entire foundation of the relationship is affected.
Learning to communicate so everyone involved feels heard is hard work and as the divorce rate shows, many couples are unable to reach this level of understanding and therefore issues are left unresolved and tension deepens leading to a lack of understanding and respect.
If, for example, you grew up in a household with an angry parent that everyone constantly tried to avoid or soothe, you will likely carry this attitude into adulthood and when confrontation arises, whether real or perceived, you will either try to calm the situation or run from it.
If your spouse says something you perceive to be heated, you will immediately revert back to this childhood memory and in turn, face your mate with your learned response.
It is striking that so many marriages completely end on this one component alone.
Both spouses may love each other dearly, but without proper communication, that love goes unnoticed and the result is often terrible and tragic.
Literally, there are tens of thousands of books out there written on this topic alone.