Dear Friend, If you want to get your ex back or are experiencing a painful break-up of any kind, my heart goes out to you.I believe this is one of the most painful events you can experience–sometimes even more than the death of a partner, precisely because it is voluntary.

I am merely pointing out that people do not gravitate towards you because of your “personality.” They gravitate towards you based on how they feel in your presence.

This is why you can be madly in love with a person one day and divorce the very same person five years later.

If you argue with him or her, you’re missing this basic goal of getting to the truth.

And it’s one of the central reasons you’re being rejected: because you weren’t open to this truth during the relationship.

Believe it or not, the purpose of a break-up is to evolve you as a person–whether you want to evolve or not.

Either a) this rejection is teaching you to be more self-reliant and self-appreciative by asking you to move past this rejection, or b) the rejection is telling you that you must learn how to adjust better to a partner–or you will suffer rejection again.

Now fear is perfectly Ok, especially when you’re feeling traumatized by rejection.

So nurture yourself through your fear of rejection on your own (I’ll show you how). This will only make him or her feel guilty…and the last thing you need right now is to be a big bag of guilt in your ex’s mind. So how do you trigger good feelings in your ex and get back in the game?

Violate them, and people will avoid you, no matter how attractive you are.