In this surviving infidelity interview, find out what feelings and thoughts are normal and what you can expect in your relationship and future ones after discovering your partner cheated on you.

Expert Danine Manette is an infidelity survivor, professional investigator, and the author of LTK: What are some of the reactions people have when they first find out their partner cheated?

For example, although violence against the cheater's affair partner or a revenge affair may seem alluring, they are really not the best response to the situation and often cause a far greater problem than anticipated.

This means no more lies, no more secrets, cutting all ties with the affair partner, being totally accountable as far as his/her whereabouts, schedule changes, and so forth, making his/her life an open book, answering any and all questions pertaining to the affair that the betrayed partner has a legitimate right to know and make sure the betrayed partner has access to all cell phones, email accounts, passwords, online social accounts, computers and any other area that the betrayed partner deems necessary to make him/her feel safe and secure.

Cheaters must also fully and completely acknowledge their wrongdoing and not make excuses or blame the betrayed partner for "driving" them to have an affair.

Danine Manette (DM): Typically the betrayed partner struggles with a mixture of outrage and pain.

Regardless of whether the betrayed partner suspected the infidelity or not, there is still an enormous amount of disbelief that someone you love and trust to this degree has betrayed you.

Some betrayed partners lash out physically in an attempt to express their rage while others withdraw and become an emotional wreck.

Once the initial anger subsides, however, the betrayed partner is usually left with a deep sense of sadness and a devastating amount of pain.LTK: What does a victim of infidelity have to keep in mind when moving on to a new relationship?DM: Victims of betrayal must recognize that they cannot bring the baggage from a previous relationship into the new union.Because so much of the relationship between the cheater and the betrayed partner now appears to be a lie, the betrayed partner spends much of the time immediately following discovery piecing together the facts, playing "information catch up", and ascertaining what was real and what was a fa├žade.With each new discovery comes a new level of shock, rage and disappointment, which leads to an extremely drawn out period of pain and devastation for the betrayed partner.Secondly, the betrayed partner must feel that he/she is safe in trusting the cheater again with his/her feelings and investing themselves again emotionally into the relationship.